The End of The World

Okay, so I'm talking, of course, about the impending collision in CERN's Large Hadron Collider that may cause scientists to gain a deeper meaning of all matter and energy and it would change the world as we know it.... or, you know, the collision that they're using to do this may cause a collision that would DESTROY THE WORLD!!!! 

So, I'm asking myself - If the world is possibly going to end soon, what the HELL are you doing sitting behind your computer, and writing in your damn Blog, which you haven't bothered to write in for however many months? 

I haven't exactly done everything I wanted to in life. Hell, I've done basically nothing I wanted to in life. Except going to Australia - and even now that I'm here, sure it's great, but a lot of things have gone wrong and I've been quite down lately. 

 Anyway, even though I haven't done everything (er, anything) I really wanted to, there's not much time to do them now, anyway. Also - I doubt it'll destroy us. Still, there's the possibility... But I'm an optimist. 

So, rather than go into a moment of irrational and possibly to-be-humiliating-in-the-future kind of fear... I'd rather write down some thoughts. Because my blog is something I've been putting off - first because I was too busy and having too much fun with the Aus trip, then because the Aus trip was kind of getting me down... and I didn't want to put bad, weepy, miserable whining on my blog. 

Plus, I got HATE-MAIL. My first hate-mail. Okay, maybe hate is strong, but this guy was an ASSHOLE. He literally called my stories "lost causes" and he told me I shouldn't put links to my blog if I wasn't going to update it. And, yes, I know I've been bad - but who fucking CARES, right? I'm not charging anyone for this.

Okay, so anyway: The Final Days...

I'm just seriously pissed off (with Myself now, not that asshole who hate-mailed me) about how I haven't done ANYTHING that I'm "STILL PLANNING" on. I mean, I haven't told any family or close friends that I'm gay. I haven't had SEX. I haven't had a boyfriend. I haven't done ANYTHING.

And, I'm hoping this feeling stays with me, because I hope this fear, that the world could end of any time, makes it stupid to fear other stuff. "What will they think of me?" "What if he doesn't like me?" - All bullshit!

So I'm hoping that... well, firstly that we survive. But also that I get over my own crap and just DO the things I want to do.

And I will right another blog, because, hey, it's always worth it to write the things that you're thinking about down somewhere.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity. Took something embarrassing down. But go Young Bradley! Clearly a turning point in my own, personal character arc.