The Long Road Home

So I'm back, in South Africa at least, if not exactly home home, in Cape Town. I'm staying with my dad, in Joburg, right now. Until the 31st, when I fly back. I'm going to be here for my big sister's 21st, so that's going to be lots of fun.

The trip back was just the tiniest bit stressful for me. One the things I had to worry about was that I had way to much baggage. I had checked in the 23 kg that I was allowed to, but as hand luggage, I had two bags at 11 kg each. And since the limit was one piece of hand luggage at 7 kg, I felt a bit like an outlaw. And not a super-bad-ass, me-against-the-law kind of outlaw. 

No, the fact that I had to gigantic-ass bags weighing me down, and not to mention making it obvious that I was WAY over the baggage limit, made me feel like a HUGE idiot.

But it all turned out well. I got through the flight from Sydney to Perth without any trouble, because they're not overly strict about baggage on domestic flights. But I was worried that I'd be mega-screwed when I had to switch over to my flight to Jo'burg, because they'd crack down on baggage more for international flights. 

Anyway, I spent the four hour flight worrying about that, but when we landed, I had something else to worry about - we were stuck on the tarmac for about half an hour after we landed, for some reason or other, and I was going to miss the bus to take me to the international terminal - which, for some idiotic reason, is a 15 minute drive away from the domestic terminal.

So I did miss the bus, and I had to catch the next one - which left an hour later. I ended up arriving at the terminal 5 minutes before my flight was supposed to leave. And I still had to go through customs and security and all that. So I was basically mega-screwed. But, on my way in, I got stopped by an air hostess from South African airways, and she asked me if I was... well, me... and I said "YES!!" (Yes, exactly like that) and then she basically sped me through security and customs and onto the plane. 

Some Aussie asshole stopped me and said "Hey, you're not allowed to have that much baggage." And some other crap like that. I thought I was in for a full lecture, but the whole SA crew was standing out there, waiting to take off, and giving him the evil eye for delaying the process further - so he picked up on the atmosphere very quickly and shut up, and I was home free.

Okay, maybe not the nicest thing for me to break their laws like that. But really, the flight was half full (Yes - I'm an optimist) and there was plenty of space. And I just didn't have the money to pay to check my stuff in.

But anyway, it's awesome to be back in South Africa. I was very surprised by how much patriotism has sprung up since I've been away. People have SA flags sticking out of their car windows now, and they have these weird SA flag covers on their side-mirrors. It's very cool.

It's been nice walking around the malls here a bit too. You know, comparing prices to things back in Aus, and what sort of stuff is available.

Three things I've been unable to find here tho: Frozen Coke, Meat Lovers Pizza and Butter Salt. I still have hope for the Meat Lovers - I've had a "Meat Feast" pizza at one place here. It's not as good, but I'm hoping one of the other places will have a decent Meat Lovers equivalent. Butter Salt - I'm sure I can find. I've only been to one movie house so far. And Frozen Coke - I fear it's going to be a while before that finds its way into South Africa.

Three things I missed, and am glad to have again: Steers Burgers - HOLY CRAP, so good. They just don't have anything quite as good, cheap and easy to find in Aus. Chocolate Products - anything, biscuits, bars - just a lot better here, I think. 

And Afrikaans music - This guy called Jack Parow has this song called Cooler As Ekke - it's SO funny.

Anyway, over and out

OB:
Spelling/Grammar/Clarity. Pleased to report that meatier pizzas made their way to SA pretty quickly. I still yearn for Frozen Coke, though. Also, watch out YB, in a few days, your sister's friend Steph at the 21st is not just being nice to you - she's just dumped her boyfriend who (direct quote) 'fucks dudes', and she clearly has a type.

All that glitters... is probably gay

Okay, well, since I don't have much to talk about right now... I think I'm just going blurt out a whole bunch of things that I've seen on the internet over the last couple of months, or just generally thought about. 

Hopefully this'll get me started on some kind of thing where, the next time I see something, I can put it on. Also, I feel like it really has been a long time since I last blogged, and I'm kinda bored right now, so I have the time, but I don't really have anything to talk about.

I am going back to South Africa on Wednesday.... which is kind of bittersweet. I'll really miss... Life here, in general. My aunt, uncle & cousins, obviously. Also, my cousin's friends, who are a really cool bunch of people. 

The shopping here is great - I'm going to miss the non-stop sales, the way the cheap clothing stores have a much better fashion than the cheap ones in SA do, the gimmicks and gadgets that you can find here, stores that are dedicated to things that I'd never thought you could dedicate stores to (ie: Vacuums, Shavers, Tea, Storage), and then there are also great big stores K-Mart & Target &TheBigW (I can't help it - there is nothing like them in SA) 

Not to mention trains, ah the trains, and the buses that go basically anywhere. 

But yeah, I'm already kind of homesick. Plus, money is always an issue. I mean, I've been working, and that was great - made loads - but, yeah, I'm still not rich, and I still feel kind of like a squatter. 

Plus, I need to get my life sorted out (In regards to coming-out and finding love) and, well, hopefully I can do that when I'm back home.

ANYWAY. On to the gay stuff.

The gay rainbow flag has only SIX colours. Now, I'm sorry if I'm a mega-science nerd, but there are 7 colours in the rainbow spectrum. Remember that lame line that your teacher used to get you to remember it? Richard Of York Gave Battle In Vain - ROYGBIV.

Red

Orange

Yellow

Green

Blue

Indigo

Violet

Well, the gay flag seems to be missing Indigo. Which drives me crazy. Apparently it was lost in the 1979 Pride Parade of San Francisco - the place from which the symbol sprang. 

 It was so that the gays and lesbians could each walk on their side of the street with the same number of colours - so that's why they decided to drop indigo... which I suppose is understandable, because next to violet and blue it's like... meh, what do we need indigo for?

Oh wow. This actually took up more space than I thought.

So, in that case, I'm actually going to end it here. I'll be back soon, with another gay thing to blog about.

Well, hopefully soon. I'm bad at this "timely" thing.

OB:
Spelling/Grammar/Clarity. Also, this concept did not take off of for me, did it?

Camping!

Camping was fun. I mean, I've only ever been on school camps or karate camps before - all of which were organised to the point of tedium. You know, it gets annoying when there's a planned activity for every single minute of your day. 

Not that I'm saying I don't like doing things when I'm camping - but the fact that school camps have activities that are compulsory just sucks. Karate camp, I actually didn't mind so much, because the activity was training - and I looked forward to that. But school was always some crappy, team-building thing. Snore.

Anyway, this camp was good. It was just a bunch of teenagers, and a lot of fun. Everyone brought stuff and we had everything we needed - which wasn't really good planning, but rather the fact that we had packed a million things and some of them came in handy.

We were in a national park that was right on the beach, which was awesome. Really nice to hear the waves while you're drifting off - kinda reminds me of home, in Cape Town.

We were there for about four nights, which was, in my opinion, the best amount of time. By the fourth night, I was totally ready to go home. It went nicely though. On the first two nights, we got really drunk. On the third night, we went to a restaurant in a nearby town (It was only about 20 minutes driving distance). And on the last night, we went to the nearby town again, to see a movie - Kick-Ass, which is absolutely AWESOME, btw.

Anyway, it was cool. I feel like it got me closer to my cousin, and a couple of her friends.

I spent the second night in one of the tents with the gay guy that she's friends with. No - not that kind of night, in case you're thinking that. He still doesn't know I'm gay, because I haven't told her (My cousin) yet. We talked tho. He's really cool, and not just because he's cute. (Although I'm not going to deny that that is a factor) And he just broke up with his boyfriend, so... yeah... maybe...

But, anyway, I had lots of fun. Although it was a bit weird dealing with people for that extended period of time. And speaking of that, I've developed a new drinking game:

The Socially Awkward Drinking Game!

Here are the rules:

1) If confronted by an awkward silence - take a swig of your drink.

2) If sitting in a group, and you have gone the last 3 minutes without so much as contributing one word - take a swig of your drink.

3) If someone tells an inside joke that you don't understand - take a swig of your drink.

4) If you tell a joke, and no one laughs - take a swig of your drink.

4a) If you end up being the only one laughing at your own joke - make that swig a double one.

I'm working on more rules, but I'll think about them later, next time I'm drinking in social situations. It's quite a nice game. You have to be socially awkward to play, but it works out well - the drunker you get (as a result of the game) the less awkward you become, hence the less you drink - so it definitely burns itself out.

Anyway, that's that. One more thing about camp - it helped me come to an important realisation:

I don't need to be here, in Aus, as desperately as I thought I did. I really wanted to study here and end up living here, but I've realised that that's just due to envy of my cousins life. And, even if I do end up living here, it definitely won't be like her life - she's got a pair of stable parents to back up, which I don't. 

But my parents aren't going to change, wherever I choose to be in the world. So, wherever I choose can be anyway - America, The UK, whatever. Sure, Aus may end up being the best - Like America but smarter, Like the UK but warmer and nicer. But, even if I do end up here, that shouldn't mean I shouldn't got to the other places, and spend time there.

Anyway, done blogging.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity. I still play the socially awkward drinking game. I'm pretty much world champ, at this point.

Clubbing

Yeah, well, I was thinking about this last night, while I was out doing - guess what - CLUBBING!

I went out with a whole group of people, because it was my cousin's friend's 18th, so yeah. It... well, it was clubbing. I'm not a huge fan. Don't get me wrong, the excitement of it all was good enough. You know, going out, seeing the city, socialising.

I think one of the main issues is that I should be out of the closet, and gay clubbing - I'd probably enjoy that a lot more. Because clubbing seems to focus, mostly, on sex. Okay, not exclusively, but I don't get why you'd want to dance to horrible boom-boom-boom-BOOM music if you're not planning on getting laid (with varying degrees of success.) 

It makes zero sense otherwise. Sure, it's nice to dance... nice-ish. And to drink. But, meh, they aren't that fun, aren't they? Not when you remove the possibility of sex.

My cousin openly hates clubbing. And maybe that's good - maybe I should be more like that. Because I really pretend to have a lot more fun then I actually do, which is probably not good...

All I know is that when I'm out clubbing, I'm not always having this "AWESOME TIME" people seem to talk about. For most of the night I just feel awkward... and... meh. It's like I'll always be the little fat kid with acne and glasses that the other little boys laugh at because he doesn't play sports....

Anyway, let me not reminisce about my disappointing childhood...

But, yeah, the point seems to be this: Get drunk, get laid. Tada. That's it. The dancing is just more of a facilitator of getting laid. So, naturally, at a straight club, it wouldn't hold any appeal for me. Although, I've never been to a gay club, so I wouldn't know, at this point, whether I'd find it just as annoying and pointless.

Anyway, to be less vague, this "city" is Sydney, and we were in Kings Cross - the red light district - woo-hoo. I'm shocked, actually - you come to Aus, and there are all these rules and regulations, ad nauseam, and then I go on a tour and: "This is Kings Cross, the red light district, where prostitution is legal." WILD.

Anyway, before we went clubbing, we went to a strip club. God, I've got to come out - not that it'll prevent me from being dragged places like that - the gay guy in the group still got dragged to it. But, yeah, at least I'll stop wondering if I should maybe pretend that I like it stuff like that.

Because I really don't.

Luckily tho, I was spared the trouble by the strip club being ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS.

It was basically just this row of benches in front of a single stage, and there was one dancer... a youngish girl. Anyway, the reason her act was funny, and not sexy, was that she had like 5 moves... and she just did them over and over and over...

1)She'd do that thing (that strippers do) where she'd swing around the pole, legs in the air (so basically like holding on to the pole with her arms and... I dunno... clamping on it with her... legs, I hope)

2)Then she'd turn upside down, and do a hand-stand for about a full minute...

3)Then she'd come to the front of the stage, lie down (crotch facing the crowd) and stick her legs up in the air and.... gyrate... for a couple of minutes...

4)Then she'd come into the isle between the benches, and shake her... stuff... all around... again, for another couple of minutes....

5)Then she'd.... Go back to the stage and start over!

And, to top it all off, she had this look of abject boredom on her face the whole time.

It was so funny. Yet, at the same time, I was almost as bored as she looked. I think I would have felt that way, even if I was straight.

But, yeah.... it was also kind of sad. Sure, I'm all for strippers rights. And I'm of the opinion that it's only degrading if you let it be. And.... from what I saw... what that girl was doing, was degrading.

Seriously, if I was going to be a stripper... even a male one... I know it's a long shot, but just follow me on this one... I'm sure the last thing I'd feel is boredom. Yes, you can feel nervous, or terribly depressed that you have to resort to it, or you can even embrace it - as an expression of your freedom and independence etc... But, meh, to get bored while you're doing it. That actually breaks my heart a little bit.

Otherwise, the night was good. I wore fancy-assed shoes, that I really shouldn't have, because I was the ONLY ONE wearing fancy-assed shoes, and they KILLED my feet.

Hmmmm, well, that concludes my blog for today. I'm going camping soon - and I'm hoping to write something about that once I'm back in the land of interwebz and eklektricity. I'm so proud of me, for writing this soon after my other post. I'm going to try and keep this up. It's really therapeutic.

And a little shout-out to my hater, who has nothing better to do than "Looking forward to reading [my] blog to see if this(the email he sent me about my story - which he read the latest chapter of, even after "writing it off" as a "lost cause") makes it [here]." Congrats - you've got a mention in my blog now. Asshole.

Probably would have been better to not have said anything at all... but then, I dunno, it might seem like I've seen his message, been hurt by his words, and INTENTIONALLY left him out of my blog.... So I decided to err on the side of bitchiness.

And I fear this may turn into a mud-slinging match, depending on his nature - yes, his and not mine, because if it was purely up to my nature - it's would definitely turn into a huge mudslinging match. 

And now I'm really done blogging.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity/Embarrassment Management. Apologies for the stripper thing. I really feel like sex workers deserve a lot more respect than they currently get from society. But it was a poignant moment for me - to realise that a job like that can, at the end of the day, just be a job. 

The End of The World

Okay, so I'm talking, of course, about the impending collision in CERN's Large Hadron Collider that may cause scientists to gain a deeper meaning of all matter and energy and it would change the world as we know it.... or, you know, the collision that they're using to do this may cause a collision that would DESTROY THE WORLD!!!! 

So, I'm asking myself - If the world is possibly going to end soon, what the HELL are you doing sitting behind your computer, and writing in your damn Blog, which you haven't bothered to write in for however many months? 

I haven't exactly done everything I wanted to in life. Hell, I've done basically nothing I wanted to in life. Except going to Australia - and even now that I'm here, sure it's great, but a lot of things have gone wrong and I've been quite down lately. 

 Anyway, even though I haven't done everything (er, anything) I really wanted to, there's not much time to do them now, anyway. Also - I doubt it'll destroy us. Still, there's the possibility... But I'm an optimist. 

So, rather than go into a moment of irrational and possibly to-be-humiliating-in-the-future kind of fear... I'd rather write down some thoughts. Because my blog is something I've been putting off - first because I was too busy and having too much fun with the Aus trip, then because the Aus trip was kind of getting me down... and I didn't want to put bad, weepy, miserable whining on my blog. 

Plus, I got HATE-MAIL. My first hate-mail. Okay, maybe hate is strong, but this guy was an ASSHOLE. He literally called my stories "lost causes" and he told me I shouldn't put links to my blog if I wasn't going to update it. And, yes, I know I've been bad - but who fucking CARES, right? I'm not charging anyone for this.

Okay, so anyway: The Final Days...

I'm just seriously pissed off (with Myself now, not that asshole who hate-mailed me) about how I haven't done ANYTHING that I'm "STILL PLANNING" on. I mean, I haven't told any family or close friends that I'm gay. I haven't had SEX. I haven't had a boyfriend. I haven't done ANYTHING.

And, I'm hoping this feeling stays with me, because I hope this fear, that the world could end of any time, makes it stupid to fear other stuff. "What will they think of me?" "What if he doesn't like me?" - All bullshit!

So I'm hoping that... well, firstly that we survive. But also that I get over my own crap and just DO the things I want to do.

And I will right another blog, because, hey, it's always worth it to write the things that you're thinking about down somewhere.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity. Took something embarrassing down. But go Young Bradley! Clearly a turning point in my own, personal character arc. 

On my way

So, things have been intense. I've bought my air ticket with Quantas airlines. It's direct to Australia - the stopover's in Perth, and then off to Sydney. I wanted to stop over in China or Malaysia, which were options, but this was cheaper, and I'm kind of running out of money at this point. 

 I also have to organise my Visa. And the guy at the visa agency is being an incompetent MORON!!! But I'll sort that all out tomorrow. 

 So anyway, I've got a job now, for the time I'm in Joburg. It's at a Kumon center, just around the road. It's like this weird Japanese school system that's supposed to help children improve their Maths and English. I think it's bullshit,but they pay me well, so I don't voice my opinions. 

And I've been on the internet dating sites a lot. I don't know why. Guess I'm feeling lonely. Or whatever. But I'm only here in Joburg for about a month before I set off to Aus, so it's kinda stupid to go looking for someone now, because I don't really want a cheap hookup. And I really don't want a boyfriend, anyway, not this year. 

And I've been watching a lot of TV, during my free time. 30 Rock is AWESOME. Love Tina Fey - she's so funny. And I've also been watching Weeds - very good show. Although I miss the cute gay guy that was cut out after about the 1st episode. He was kinda cute. 

Anyway, that's probably all for now. ... Yup, that's definitely all for now.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity

Busy, Busy, Busy

Okay, so, as the title suggest's - I'm very busy. I'm working part-time at my school, which is very sad, if you think about it, because I've just matriculated, and now I'm back there, even though I shouldn't be. Oh well. 

At least I don't have to go to class. Plus, it's only temporary, the money's good, the work is easy, and it's amusing to think of my teachers as "co-workers" now. And, I'm busy organizing my Australian VISA. It's rough - so much to fill in. And my hand writing sucks.... so that's going to be..... interesting. Hopefully it all goes well. 

Things with X... well... I dunno. We went to movies yesterday. It was cool. Oh, and he's moved very far away from me (he used to be just down the road) so that sucks. We were almost late for the movie because he got stuck in traffic with other friends. 

We were supposed to go to another movie today - one that he wanted to see. But we didn't, for some reason. He sent me a text message to cancel. He was supposed to stay over at my house tonight too - guess that's not happening. It sucks. 

Seeing him, and hanging out with him makes me amazingly happy. But when he goes away.... I feel so sad. It really depresses me that nothing can ever happen between us. I just wish it could.... you know, I'm harbouring a secret hope that he'll turn out to have been gay all along. But I accept the reality that that's incredibly unlikely. 

And I want to tell him I'm gay, but I don't know. It might ruin a good thing. I mean, he is such an awesome friend. I'd hate to weird him out and drive him off. Also, I'm going out of the country anyway - we may end up drifting apart and losing contact. Is it really worth all the drama then? If we do stay friends - then maybe I'll just tell him later. But if we don't, I don't see why there's a point in telling him something that will most likely drive him away anyway. Oh well. 

Also, I might as well throw in opinions of movies while I'm here. Okay, I'll start with Avatar - the movie we were supposed to see today, which I went to see with someone else. It's really cool. I really enjoyed watching it in 3D. The story line is good, if not that original - I mean, forces of nature rising against the cold, emotionless and unaesthetic forces of destruction. 

I mean, Warcraft 3, Fern Gully, things like that... all had a very similar plot. But the graphics were excellent. And those Na'vi were so cool. All in all, I loved it. 

Next, 2012, which is what we saw yesterday. SHITTEST. MOVIE. EVER!!! It sucked so badly. I mean, that whole thing with the mom and the stepdad, where he says "Something's tearing us apart" and the earth splits beneath him. 

And at the end... When that author guy is trying to unjam that thing in the hydraulics, and the camera feed goes out, and that IDIOT in the control room cries out "WE'RE DOOMED!" I mean, seriously, how ridiculous is that - They can't see the guy who's trying to save them, so..... they must be doomed. 

And then, when he doesn't come back up, they all get really sad and it's a huge tragedy.... even though about 6 BILLION other people have died.... no, one sad little washed up author dying is a real tragedy.... barf. I can't believe I actually paid money to see that.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity and word choice. Also, one day I'll write a lengthy treatise on just how awful that 2012 movie was, because I stand by YB in this!

Oh what a day it's been...

Okay, since it's been like FOREVER, and I've turned into one of those people who only write posts to their blog when they're apologizing for not making more posts on their blog, I'm going to do a full, varied, and detailed version right now. 

Okay, my stories, I should have a new chapter out in each one within the week, so that's good, right? I'm running out of things to do with my day. 

Although, My sister and her BF are in town, and they're very active and always happy to have me around. They took me out for New Years - we all went and partied on beachfront, where there are a whole bunch of clubs, and then we walked home, because our house is very close. Although, it doesn't seem that close when you have to stumble the whole way drunk, but oh well. 

As far as X goes... Haven't seen him. He was supposed to come to my house on the... 29th, or something, but my phone battery died, and he couldn't reach me, so like a little quitter, he gave up. He was doing something with other friends the day after, when I phoned him. 

He was somewhere far away, so yeah... Don't know when I'm seeing him again - he'll have to call me.  It should be before the 15th - when we're going to see each other anyway, but who knows. Not sure I'm over him. 

Some guy phoned me on New Years to wish me, but I didn't recognise the number, so I can't be sure if it was him. I like to think it was him... :D 

I'm busy organising my VISA for my trip to Aus. So many forms, so little energy. Plus, I'm planning on going to America afterwards, and I may not be able to wait till I'm in Aus to organise that - I may have to do it now. Sigh. 

I don't think I want to be back in my country this year - especially not in June/July, while the world cup is on. Aside from not being a huge fan of soccer, I'm just fearing what will happen when the copious amounts of tourists flood the inadequate infrastructure we have in place - it will be impossible to do simple things like drive anywhere or make a phone call.

OB:

Spelling/Grammar/Clarity. FIFA was fine. YB was such an anti-sports drama queen.